Tuesday, March 5, 2013
By Angela Thomas
I think one of the most frustrating things to do is get back into the “dating world.”
There is nothing more terrifying, more self-deprecating and NOTHING that makes your confidence go down more than jumping back into the cesspool of dating.
And not to tug on the “MyLifeIsWorseThanYours” rope, but for the LGBTQ-identified folks, it can be even worse.
After getting out of a one-year relationship four months ago, I decided recently to get back into the “game.” Because of my schedule, I rarely have time to see the parents I live with, let a lone go out and meet someone, so at the advice of one of my friends, I decided to try online dating.
This is exactly what it is like. You’ve got your more feminine girls and you’ve got your more butch girls and you’ve got everyone in between. You enter into this world and they all look at you (aka your profile), stare for a bit and then leave with no word.
My experiences thus far have been…interesting to say the least? I had a girl brag about her drunk driving experience. I’ve had women intrigued by my ever-so-glamorous job and I’ve been played for a fool already (and it has only been two weeks).
Online dating can be intimidating because you essentially put yourself out there to either be rejected or ignored. Don’t get me wrong, good experiences can be had on these sites, but now more than ever, they are filled with individuals who are just looking for friends or random hookups.
Online dating can also set you up for failure—like for instance—my first experience or date for that matter. Girl sends message to me, girl and I talk, girl and I go on date, girl and I seem to hit it off, girl seems to really like me, girl becomes shady, girls says she is dating someone else, thing ends. That is the best way I can describe it.
However, I have also had great experiences so far. I have met a few people who seem to have the same interests as me and who seem to be fairly awesome individuals, but my experience is not what I thought it would be. For one thing, some of the people on this site are people I’ve A) Either interviewed or B) Work within the community I write about.
There is also the issue of body image. It may seem silly, but for someone who is desperately trying to get back into shape and eat clean, all the girls on this site are either athletic or thin. On some of their profiles, they make it very apparent that whoever contacts them better already be within their weight/height requirements. It makes a girl want to go back into the “fitness closet” and stay there until some “real” results come along. I understand the idea of wanting someone who is living a healthy life, but what about those who are well on their way?
And finally, online dating has a stigma. Already, I am nervous to post this blog link on my Twitter. People seem to consider online dating as something for individuals who are not assertive or for losers. My parents think online dating is for predators. I even cringe at the thought of saying “We met online,” but why is that? In a generation where we do everything online, why is it so weird to meet someone online? As long as you are not meeting in some creepy, dark alleyway, online dating can be extremely successful.
So, what are your opinions/experiences on online dating?